grateful amazement

finding wonder…everywhere.

You’re Loved: Coffee for Your Heart

on January 15, 2014

{It’s week Two of Holley Gerth’s Coffee for Your Heart Enouragement Challenge.}

After almost caving to the fear of vulnerability that writing (and linking!) a post for this challenge stirred in me last week, I made a {somewhat feeble} promise to myself that I would not leave fleshing out this week’s prompt till the last minute. (After all, I am the mom who readily and firmly works to impress on each of my kids the importance first, second, and third drafts – that the practice of starting early so you can go back and edit and refine is what makes your writing better.)

But here I am, Tuesday night, plunking away at these keys for the first time since late last Tuesday night. Holley’s words to me in the comments on her blog after linking up seven days ago buoy my spirit and draw me to press on, to do it even if I have to do it afraid. (She is truly encouragement personified, isn’t she? Here is her response to my admission to being scared spitless, for those inquiring minds among you:  I’m cheering wildly for you as you take this step of faith in spite of your fear. People who are scared spitless and do it anyway are my favorite kind {I think God is fond of them too}. Thank you, Holley!) So, here I sit…

As I pray for words to give wings to this week’s prompt (You’re Loved), it seems God is nudging me toward sharing the words He gave me at 5am Sunday when I woke up anxious and hurting because of…well, because of how life can be sometimes. You know, the way it has of being nothing like you imagined, the way it has of being so much harder than you counted on, the way it has of knocking the wind out of you while simultaneously blowing you away.

When I originally wrote the words I’m going to share here, in my dimly lit bedroom, in the first notebook my weary eyes could find, with a pink highlighter, two things felt clear to me: #1 – they were directly from Him, definitely not of my own creation; and #2 – they were not for public consumption…at least not any time soon. Guess I was not-so-right about #2.

That early morning three days ago, my part of the conversation with Him went something like this:
It feels like every tear I never cried is pounding to get out of my chest, choking me.
Can a person drown in the keeping of tears like that?
Does the release come in allowing the dam to break?
How does the holding – the holding of those tears – make you feel like the only answer is to empty the meager contents of your stomach – the meager contents of your soul.
I think it is possible to drown on held-back tears.

He replied:
I will catch your tears, love. They are precious to me – beautiful in their vulnerability.
I will redeem the lie that you are ugly when you cry.
Because you are, in fact, beautiful when you let them fall.
For it is then when your heart, your true self, your inescapable beauty – that part of you truly created in My image – is visible.

Your tears – the held back ones – are your River Jordan.
That which you have to cross, to navigate, to wade through, to get to the Promised Land – your Promised Land.

I know the thought makes you tremble.
Helps you understand how my precious children could choose 40 years in the wilderness over dipping a toe into what looked to them to be raging waters, white-capping rushing rapids.
That’s what it feels like, right? Inside of you?
Like an untamed River of Tears?
Like you definitely need a life jacket AND a river guide to even think about stepping into it.

Dear one, I am that Life Jacket, that experienced River Guide.

You only have to release, relax, then relate your pain to me – all of it.
Then, and only then, can you know the rush of the wind of freedom through your hair…the splash of Living Water in your face, glistening rainbows in the Light of My Presence.

Your Jordan must be crossed.
The dam opened – broken, if need be.
The pent-up waters released.

They can threaten to drown you – to obliterate you – but they won’t.

Trust Me in that.
I am here.
Secure around you.
Guiding you through the jagged places where you fear injury.

Sweet child, you do not need to fear injury already endured.
It happened.
You survived it.
I was with you then.
I am with you now.
I remain with you always.
So then, you need not fear future injury either.

Release the held-back water to make room for the Living Water.
Cross your Jordan.
And then enter into the fullness of all I have for you.
Joy abundant.
Peace eternal.
Love unconditional.

You see, friend. I know now these words are not just for me.
They are for you, too.
So that you can know that it’s true…

You’re loved.

Coffee for Your Heart 150

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4 responses to “You’re Loved: Coffee for Your Heart

  1. Karrlin Bain says:

    This is WONDERFUL! Thank you for writing this ~ it is so very encouraging. I am excited to share this post with friends that will love it and find encouragement in it. Please keep writing!

  2. goldapple says:

    Came from Coffee For Your Heart. Thank you so much for sharing. God bless you richly. You are loved 🙂

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