grateful amazement

finding wonder…everywhere.

Dropping Shoes

on May 14, 2014

 

Dropping Shoes

In my house, even with only one teenage girl still living at home, the act of someone dropping shoes wherever they land is a Very Real Thing. There are haphazard piles of shoes near the front door, the back door, as well as hastily-removed pairs near the kitchen island, dining room table, and on the bottom landing of the stairs. I think there’s even a pair in the backseat of my vehicle. I wonder if she even has any shoes that have actually made it into her room where they belong…?

Imagine, if you will, the Random Shoe Display that our home was when all four girls were living here! I have often ‘joked’ – with those Imma-Lose-My-Mind crazy eyes and that Pick-Those-Things-Up-Or-Someone’s-Gonna-Get-Hurt tone in my voice – that for years and years and years, our humble abode looked like a toy store that blew up next to a laundromat that blew up next to a library that blew up next to a shoe factory.

But, I digress…

All of these shoes spread over all these places has me thinking today.

My girls were (and still are) able to drop their shoes without fear or concern because they knew they would still be okay, they would still be loved…and they would still have a pair super-handy for whatever came up.

So, dropping shoes – wherever they landed – was not a big deal to them.*

One of the coping mechanisms that I took up early in life (and that I have carried with me all these years) was the thought that I could somehow ‘protect’ myself by adopting the stance of someone who was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Always mentally preparing myself for the worst case scenario. You know about that stance, don’t you? When things were going well, no chaos was running rampant, no storm clouds of turmoil were churning on the horizon, I found myself holding my breath…waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the bad thing to happen. For the worry to be fulfilled.

Sometimes, I’ve turned quite blue in the face, not breathing, waiting for the *thud*…all the while, trying to convince myself that I was being pragmatic, realistic, responsible even. Being prepared, and all, to paraphrase the scouting motto.

Well, today, I heard the *click* of a truth fall into place instead of the dropped-shoe *thud* my heart has learned to expect as I realized that what I was calling ‘pragmatic’ was really living in fear of hoping. (If only I had a dime – okay, maybe a quarter – for every time I’ve heard, and even said, ‘Don’t get your hopes up.’)

Today, friend, if you’ve found your own sweet self doing that breath-holding and head-tilting, leaning-in thing in order to hear the *thud* better, sooner, more clearly, I want you to think about this…

Maybe the other shoe will drop.
And, if it does, maybe all that means is it’s okay to go barefoot for a while.

*Note for Clarification: In all of this reframing of dropping shoes, I do want to state for the record that my desire for uncluttered entryways and stairwells remains intact. (Just in case any of my precious girls happen to read this someday. *smile)

{Getting the chance to link up with Holley Gerth and Jennifer Dukes Lee again today. I feel so blessed by both of those ladies and by all the sweet blogs I’ve gotten to visit via their link-ups. Go ahead and click through so you can see for yourself what I mean.}

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2 responses to “Dropping Shoes

  1. Hi Laura,
    What a great story about how your daughters know they are loved and how you are learning God loves you…I can relate to that “waiting for the other shoe” to drop stance…blessings to you ….Thanks 🙂

    • LauraK says:

      Thanks for stopping by, Dolly!
      It is a big lesson for me to trust and allow myself to hope…and to stop holding my breath.
      I say we let that shoe drop and go barefoot. 😉

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