grateful amazement

finding wonder…everywhere.

RELAX :: a blog series :: four

on December 22, 2015

relax adjust

{Every Tuesday this month, we’re meeting here to pull apart the word RELAX. To lean into it. To learn ways we can practice it in a very real way. And what better time than the hectic holidays to get some rubber-meets-the-road experience with it?! I’m glad you’re here…it’s so much better to work through things like this in the company of kindreds like you. It’s week four already…hard to believe, isn’t it?}

So.
The last three weeks have found us engaged in the practices of RELEASing, EMBRACing, and LAUGHing.
How are you doing?
Feeling more RELAXed yet?
(Is that a loaded question this week of Christmas?)

I’m going to be honest with you.
When I woke up this morning, I felt anything but RELAXed.
Some biggish things on my To Do List got carried over from yesterday. The things that were placed on today’s List are things I’d rather not do. And, to illustrate the point of just how far behind the 8-ball I am, let me confess here and now that my Christmas tree doesn’t have a single decoration on it. If it wouldn’t have come pre-lit, it would be a giant, dark, looming visual of my dismal scatteredness as the holidays approach.
I’m not a Grinch…I’m just a little out a balance.

And that’s why I’m grateful we’re here, looking at the A in RELAX.
Because, right now, I really, really need to practice ADJUSTing.
Maybe you do, too?

Let’s get at it…

After we’ve LAUGHed, we have to have the courage to ADJUST the things in our power that can be ADJUSTed.
If you’re anything like me, your first question is probably ‘Okay, but what are some of those things?’
Here’s my best multi-point answer…

We can ADJUST our suppositions.
Our expectations.
We really need to RELEASE them because, when we do, we make room for grace. For ourselves and for others.
Honestly, aside from practicing these pieces of RELAXing, practicing letting go of expectations has been one of the most liberating choices I’ve ever made.
I don’t know what that looks like for you, but you do.
Let. Them. Go.
And see if you don’t experience a new sense of RELAXation.

Next, we can ADJUST our schedules.
Make sure to leave some flexibility in your line items, because margin allows room for the unexpected.
And we all know that The Unexpected isn’t really all that unexpected after all, is it?
I mean, maybe the particulars of the wrenches that get thrown into our schedules vary wildly, but the fact that there are wrenches isn’t a big surprise, right?
Even the word margin magically breathes hope into my frazzled edges this morning.
And here’s a big paradigm-shifting bit of brilliance from Crystal Paine of MoneySavingMom.com that can become an ADJUSTment mantra: ‘Choose to do less and savor life more. Busyness does not equal Godliness.’

Here’s the next area we can ADJUST — our surroundings.
We all know that clutter breeds stress and chaos.
And those things are definitely antiRELAXing.
Think about this…what is your home’s mission?
Does its condition match that mission?
One of the best books I’ve ever read on home, decor, and ADJUSTing how I approach those things is The Nesting Place: It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful by Myquillyn Smith.

Another key thing that brings us benefits from ADJUSTing is our stance.
Our opinion.
Oh, man. I could on for days about this one.
I’m thinking that neither you nor I have time for that today.
So let me just say this…
Not everything needs to be black and white.
Gripping our assumptions and judgements so tightly that they almost choke out is pretty much the direct opposite of RELAXing.
And it’s exhausting.
How do I know this?
Let’s just say that if there was a support group for people who are too opinionated, my weary family would have dragged me, kicking and screaming, to every meeting.
I’m happy to say I’m a recovering My Opinion is the Only Opinion addict, and I’ve found that ADJUSTing all those Black and Whites has made a lot more room for grace in my life.

Finally, let’s ADJUST our sight.
Our perspective.
Glennon Doyle Melton, author of Carry On, Warrior, introduced me to a great term that has helped me ADJUST the way I see things. She reminds us to put on our perspectacles.
You know.
Those glasses that help us see the bright side of things, people, situations that might normally cause us to clench, contract, and convict.
When ADJUST our perspectacles, we see things with new eyes, in new ways, and we can RELAX.
For real and for true.
Try it.

When I look at Scripture (as I often do, to make sure that when God says He’s ‘been there, done that’, He really has, so then I can just RELAX about whatever has my undies in a bunch) I find that there is a pretty long list of those who have gone before me who’ve been called to ADJUST…Moses had to ADJUST to so. many. things. – being raised in a culture that wasn’t his own, being called by God to confront Pharaoh at age 80, leading Israel through the wilderness for 40 years. And more. Jonah was given a choice of ADJUSTing or being digested by a whale. Paul not only ADJUSTed his name. He ADJUSTed his entire way of life in order to walk in the calling placed on his life.
I don’t pretend to say that any of these Bible greats ADJUSTed so they could RELAX, just so we’re clear.
I just think it’s awesome to look back and see that the practice of ADJUSTing is as old as time.
There’s a certain comfort in that, don’t you think?

Now, back to that out-of-control list of mine…
I’m going to sit down with a fresh piece of paper and ADJUST it, keeping in mind the need to RELEASE expectations, find some margin in my schedule, tidy my desk, allow for other’s thoughts and feelings, and put on my perspectacles.
And then I’m going to RELAX.
And allow myself to have a Merry Christmas.

Friend, that’s my wish for you, too.
RELEASE, EMBRACE, LAUGH, and ADJUST so you can RELAX and enjoy these precious days with your precious people.
And we’ll meet back here next week to look at the X

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One response to “RELAX :: a blog series :: four

  1. […] how we looked at what it means to RELEASE so that we can EMBRACE while we LAUGH at ourselves and ADJUST to this crazy thing called Life in order to breathe deep and EXHALE? (See what I did there? […]

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